Before Jay and I had kids we would go on 'French' picnics. We'd take a French stick, cheese and wine and just lay in the sun talking. So yesterday, we packed fresh french stick, cheese, carrots and juice (in lieu of the wine lol) and went to Delhi park. It was lovely. We ate, talked, Simon played a bit and then we all spent some time reading. Amy ended up reading a book all about Canadian beginnings. Simon read about Vikings, I ended up reading about the Undergound Railroad (finished it at 1am lol) and Jay read a bit and semi napped. It was so nice. To just spend some time relaxing as a family and being grateful for some time with each other.
Now, move ahead a few hours at home. Our phone is now disconnected and quite possibly our internet will be soon. I am so tired of playing 'catch up' with our bills. The "world" intruded into our little family day. (We received some other awful news as well, but I'm not ready to write about it, I'll try in a few days †)
Our pastor has been preaching about money, tithing, giving etc. Being faithful and good stewards of the money God has given us. Jay and I can both admit we haven't been really good at any of these. We are good at misjudging our spending. We are pretty good at giving gifts of money when we have it (and sometimes when we don't) but we haven't been very good at tithing. It's been so hard to tithe when the amount that comes in is less than what is going out. How does one tithe 10% out of a cheque that is just a couple dollars more than your mortgage?
People have suggested that tithing your time is a good alternative until we are financially stable. Thus my reasoning behind becoming a member of our board and helping out with the Youth Group.
However, we both decided (were convicted) a few weeks ago to start tithing fully again. That first cheque was the hardest one to write. It felt like so much (and it could have paid the phone bill). Malalchi 3:10-12 says 10 Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this," says the LORD Almighty, "and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it. 11 I will prevent pests from devouring your crops, and the vines in your fields will not cast their fruit," says the LORD Almighty. 12 "Then all the nations will call you blessed, for yours will be a delightful land," says the LORD Almighty.
We are to test God in this. If we are faithful in our giving then He will bless us more than He already does. We are standing on that promise. I am trying to hold back the demons of fear and worry. It's hard, but I keep telling myself that as long as my family is healthy, safe, and together, then all will be fine. God has already blessed me with a wonderful, hard working husband and two good, sweet kids. We have good friends who have been so faithful in their prayers for us and advice given. I am blessed.
I feel greedy writing this next part. Are we ever going to be blessed financially? Will the nighmarish uphill struggle ever ease up for us even a bit so that we can pay off our debts and start over? Pastor said in one of his sermons that having lots of money isn't the answer.
While I totally understand his reasoning and even agree to some extent (no one needs millions of dollars) I can't help but disagree to some extent. Having enough money to be able to cover our debts, utilities, mortgage etc. would be nice. Having enough money to buy a decent vehicle that doesn't break down constantly (and if it does, it'd be nice to be able to fix it). Having enough money to be able to take our children on a real vacation maybe once every couple of years. It'd be nice to be able to stop saying "no, we don't have the money" to Simon when he asks for something at the grocery store or Amy when she needs new jeans. It hurts so much to deny your children things that are just basic like a Yop or a pair of new jeans that actually fit her properly.
How nice it would be to have a little savings in our bank account for an emergency (like when our furnace broke down this winter) and know that we can cover it. Guess I'm dreaming
...but I'm also praying and trusting that God is going to show us the way.
Hopefully I will start to get some more shifts at work (really need 25 hours a week) and that will help.
So, I need to get off this and try to get something accomplished today. Still have to dig up the garden and plant my 'freecycle hostas'.
I'll end this post with some pics from our picnic.
1 comment:
PREACH IT, SISTER! I am SO with you....literally. hahaha.
(haha...phone's ringing as I type this..... you understand!)
How appropriate that your concerns about money were also in the same post as your family picnic. The hard times help us to realize what is truly important. Rich kids would KILL to spend some time with their parents on a blanket in the park!!!!
We'll get through, Victoria. Somehow.
OK, gotta go now because you're paging me on Google Chat. :O)
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